day 5…….. time to transition to some food

I feel great!  I’m having my smoothie in the morning, juice throughout the day, and reboot healthy meals at night.  Today marks my first trip to the grocery store that ever had NO processed foods!  There is also a natural grocery store close and they have hard to find things that I’ve seen in a lot of the reboot recipes.

Started off my morning with a 3 mile round trip trek to the farmer’s market to pick up some goods, worked in the house all day long and now time to enjoy a healthy meal.

I’ve found the name of the juice I love: Sunburst!  It really is just deliciousness in a cup.

This morning’s weight: 176

I’m still finding it difficult to drink enough water.  Even though I still have not had any soda at all, I just find I’m not terribly thirsty.

Tonight’s dinner:
also having some fish because I need protein!

I really think the 3 day cleanse is great and will probably do it again in August.  I’ll keep blogging about rebooting with juice and food.


day 4……… an ode to the best fries in the world!

Well, I made it through day 3 unscathed.  Last night I was craving fries so badly I thought I would explode! No cravings first two days, and then bam, full on french fry cravings!  I’ve not craved anything else.

When I was young, I lived in the Netherlands while my dad was stationed there.  Some of my happiest child-hood memories come from that time: bike rides (biking where it’s actually safe), playing at the park (coolest parks in the world) and eating frites with fritessaus.  The Dutch people love their fries and serve them most commonly with a mayonnaise sauce.  I loved it when we went to the frituur to get our tasty (and I mean the best in the world) fries!  It really was one of the happiest memories from that time in my life before my parents got divorced.

fries from the frituur

Fries from the frituur courtesy of wikipedia (“Frituur fries frikandel mayo curry ketchup (cropped)” by Jon Åslund, cropped by User:Oreo Priest – Licensed under CC BY 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons –

Now fries are not the only thing I got from that pivotal time in my life, I also developed a huge love of bike-riding and being active.  I used to ride my bike to work, ride for fun and ride to escape.  Well, I did those things until I hurt my knee in 2008, which was also the time I started to put on weight and lose that tenacity for being active.

People say you should not look back and keep your eyes on the future, but I say we must go back to reflect and learn.  Looking back I know my love of fries stems from emotional times, both happy and sad. I also know eating some beautiful, tasty fries right now won’t bring back any of those times.  Looking back I see what I was, both good and bad, and what I can become again: healthy!

OK, now that the little reflection is done, let’s talk about how I feel today: stinky!  I guess stinky is not a feeling, but it is definitely a reality.  I stink!  Body odor is horrific!  Breath is horrific!  I said days ago I didn’t want to be around people, well part of that is because I stink so bad!  Of course, another part is that I don’t want to smack someone for talking stupid.  Another thing is I have had no bowel movements!  This is actually how my normal life goes with chronic IBS, but last time I did the preboot, I was going everyday!

I’m still having a hard time drinking 6 juices a day.  I have my smoothie in the morning which keeps me full for hours, then juice the remainder of the day.  I’m not excessively hungry, so I’m just not drinking a lot of juice.  In fact, I’m tried of drinking anything!  I’ve lived in a constant state of dehydration because I don’t like drinking a lot.  That is true now as well.  I really am just tired of the act of drinking.  Guess I better get over that because I’m definitely detoxing given the smells coming from my body!

I also don’t feel like doing anything!  I’ve been walking each day, but I have to force myself to do it.  I don’t want to go anywhere, or be around anyone.  Haven’t even been online that much.  I just want to stay in bed and sleep.

Juices today:

Joe’s mean green
Dracula’s dream
the bell pepper one (I need to find the name)

day 3

I was doing very well resisting all forms of food, until I smelled my neighbor’s cooking!  No, I didn’t give in, but the smell actually brought to mind the first thoughts of eating food.  I’m determined to get through day 3 unscathed, so all is indeed well.

I’m still having headaches, but in all honesty, I’ve been having a lot of headaches even before I started fasting.  Right now, I just really want to go to the bathroom.  I foresee prune juice in my near future!

For the sake of being specific, I’m doing a modified reboot because I am having my morning smoothie for the time being.  I find it really helps me get through the day, though I might be dropping the smoothie by the weekend if all else goes well.

Still don’t want to be around people right now.  I’m perfectly content to have my Netflix, books and spinning wheel to keep me occupied.

My tummy is already getting smaller after a few days!  I’m committed to walking at least a mile a day as this reboot is about establishing healthy habits I once had (well, except the fruits and veggies which were never really part of my life).

day 2 and feeling so good!

I restarted my reboot yesterday but didn’t want to post and jinx it.  I have had zero food cravings, in fact, I’ve had no cravings for anything whether food or not!

Out of curiosity, I weighed myself this morning and dropped 3 pounds, which is most certainly water weight because I was constantly in the bathroom.  That is definitely the worst part about juicing, the constant need to urinate!

I’ll not weigh myself again until Saturday as I just don’t believe in stepping on the scale everyday.  Don’t know how long I’ll juice as I’m just listening to my body and will stop when I need to.

New juice that was excellent (forgot the name):

1 red bell pepper
1 orange
2 carrots
1/2 lemon

Honestly, right now I’m just hoping this goes smoothly. I feel a lot more mentally prepared after my previous attempt and all I learned from it. Additionally, I’m off work right now so I don’t have to deal with any of the work related stress and duties. I can totally devote myself to juicing and focusing on regaining health. I just pray the next couple of days don’t bring unbelievable cravings like I’ve previously experienced. Still completely off sodas since the last reboot attempt. I really don’t miss them either, which is quite surprising. I have had a few glasses of tea over the last few weeks, but no regular caffeine/sugar drinks. To me, giving up soda was the biggest victory I could have had.

Weight 176

Peace, love and juice 🙂

taking a break

It’s been the crazy time in the semester for me so I’m strategizing a time to start my reboot.  I’ve got a week to get a few important visits done and then I’ll have lots of time to focus on me.  I’m not going to look at my last reboot attempt as a failure because I learned so much from it: 1) just changing a little helped me a lot, 2) soda has no hold over me anymore, 3) eating unhealthy really does make me feel worse, and 4) I’m think about food all the time when I can’t have it.

All of these lessons learned will help me prepare and successfully make it through the next try.  Unfortunately my budget is very limited, as is my time (since I missed the last window) so my goal will be a 15 day, ending before June.  If it goes very well, I might be able to carryon a modified version.

is it too late for a do-over? Never!

So, the stress of the never-ending computer crash is starting to wind down and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  After a weekend of total panic attack over data loss and subsequent poor eating and hydration, I’m getting back on the horse.

I’ve starting integrating juice into my schedule and hope to be able to transition over the reboot phase this week or next.  Haven’t really decided since it is the end of the semester and I’ve got a lot of exams to write and grading to finish up.  All-in-all, the computer crash was good at exposing my weaknesses and how I deal with very stressful situations.  Hoping this next time is better.

today’s juices:

Joe’s mean green and Dracula’s dream.  They are two of my favorites so far.

The “After” Myth

I came across this today and it really spoke to me. Getting healthy for me is not about a number, but about life and this young lady had great insight!

Can Anybody Hear Me?



It’s here.

In my first post, Before, 3 years ago, I said “I’m not to After yet, but I’m closer to After than to Before.”

I now weigh 117 – 120 pounds (depending on the day), and standing at 5-foot 6-inches, that measurement means that After is very, very here. But, before you congratulate me, dear readers…if I have any…and dear friends and family who I know follow this blog… I have to come clean with you: I don’t feel like I’m at After. I’m terrified of being at After. And, I don’t like that After is here.

After5 2

The tagline of my blog is “uncovering myself one pound at a time.” For most of this blog, I’ve spoken strongly about how my relationship with food and myself was what caused my weight struggles. I stand by that. The thing is, the symptoms have resolved faster than I’ve been able to…

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the sky is falling…… or at least it felt that way when my computer died and I lapsed on juicing

Day 3 of my juice fast and it got completely derailed by life last night.  My computer, whom (yes I refer to it as a person) I’ve loved for 6 years, crashed last night.  I love my macbook pro!  It got me through graduate school and years of teaching.  It’s helped me with my business, communication with the outside world and family, and has served as the one place that all of my personality was manifest on an inanimate object.

What I learned from this crash:  1) I love this computer way more than someone should love an object; 2) my OCD goes into overdrive trying to find solutions to make it work again; 3) I am willing to forget about everything in life to make it work again; 4) it’s hard for me to concentrate on being healthy when I’m obsessed with fixing something; 5) I see comfort in food a lot more than I thought I did.

Now let’s expand on #4 and #5.  Going to an all juice diet takes a lot of money, concentration and general strength with determination.  I found that all of my concerns about my juice fast didn’t matter anymore once I knew I had to get my computer up and running again. I’m out of produce and went to get a new computer instead of going to the grocery store to buy what I needed for my juice!  I don’t have much money, so I had to choose between a new computer or food; I chose the computer.

This juice fast is very important to me, but I couldn’t see past my problems and keep my eye focused on my goal.  If a computer crashing derails me, what does that mean for the rest of my cleanse?  Well, I’ve got to change my priorities and find reasonable work arounds for the things life throws at me.  Yes, I need a computer for many reasons, one being I need it for work!  And money is definitely a necessity in life.  Not the mention the fact that I’m fixing to be knee-deep in a PhD program and will DESPERATELY need a laptop!

I’m taking the weekend to do my best to recover my data and put it on a new hard drive in hopes I can return this computer.  I love new computers, but I do not feel the need to always get the latest and greatest, so this computer does not feel right to me.  For now, I’m hoping to get back on track with my juicing.


smoothie with pineapple, mango, almonds, coconut water, 1/2 cup yogurt


Golden chick: chicken fingers, french fries and a dinner roll.  I tell you, I was so stressed about the computer, I headed to the first thing I thought would make me feel better.  Honesty, it did, for a little while.  Moreover, the stress kept me from drinking enough water so I feel very dehydrated.

Weight: 180 pounds (no change)

Trying to stay encouraged 🙂 #juiceON

day 2….. dinner time is the roughest part of the day!

​It’s after 6pm and this is the weakest time of the day for me. My body and mind scream at me telling it’s time to each some dinner! I can go the entire day without feeling the need to eat, but dinner time is the worst! I’d go outside for a walk, but it’s storming. I’ve already cleaned a lot today and dyed up 2.5 pounds of wool for my side business. Maybe I should save the cleaning for this time of night, to help keep my mind off food!

No morning smoothies as I’ve made the transition to complete juicing, but I think I might have to add a smoothie in in the evening to combat this hunger feeling. I don’t know.

I had a huge amount of energy last night so I had to take a sleeping pill to get some rest, but did indeed sleep well. Today’s activities were great, but energy fluctuated.

My morning’s motivation was brought to me by one of my favorite songs: Whole world is watching by Within Temptation. It is a song about overcoming obstacles and how the world (people) will cheer you on and want you to be successful. Check out their inspirational video

Today’s juices (so far)

Dracula’s dream (this stuff was great!)
beets, strawberries, kale and carrots.

Joe’s Mean Green (I really do like this one)

Honey I juiced the greens (no kale in it this time)
Yeah, that makes it just a fruit juice which means I’ll be pining off the walls soon!

I’m pretty much out of produce which means a trip to the store is in my near future. Not looking forward to the money I’ll have to spend. Healthy is expensive!